So I’ve indexed 1017 names in the last week and a half…and that about sums up my whole life. Oh and it was Zone Conference so I got to see all my Malaysian friends yay.
I think I’ve cried this week more than I have my whole mission (yes even the MTC – my poor teachers) First, Sister LeBaron was on exchanges with us again. With her being in a trio and us living in two different houses this transfer we’ve seen her a lot. No complaints! But all she did was ask me how I was doing in bahasa and I was done for haha. And then we had an entire heart-to-heart conversation for a good hour in bahasa and part of my brain was amazed that I was doing that. The words she was saying to me made me cry because they were meaningful in a language that was foreign seven months ago. weird.
It was also the day Sarawak came in for Zone Conference and I saw all of my Kuching peeps who did nothing but tell me how amazing and tough and full of faith I am and I just wanted to scream because I feel like the most worthless missionary of all time. I’m in so much pain, trying so hard to not just give up and go home and everyone is telling me I’m amazing. cannot.
Then I’ve been at the doctor a bunch. She goes to start rubbing out my leg, barely touches it and says “OH wow its bad right now” great. So I stress out to her about how I’m trying so hard to do everything I’m supposed to and it doesn’t stop hurting. at all. Then she says “I’m tempted to use my elbow.” I told her not to give into temptation. She did and then I got an elbow to my IT band for the next 40 minutes. Then in her hilarious Singaporian accent she says “you know, you are actually quite tough. I do this to big men and they cry.” shut up PT Wendy. She referred me to another doctor that I go to tomorrow because it’s not really improving with physical therapy alone. So we’ll see how that goes.
In other news, all my Malaysian missionary friends told me I’m white already. Office problems.
Zone Conference was amazing and I cried the whole time because everything was about humbling yourself and enduring to the end. And then just one more talk on commitment and enduring hardships during Sacrament on Sunday to do me in. It’s like God is trying to tell me something.
And then we sang “fear not I am with thee oh be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid, I’ll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand”
Okay I get it haha. I’ll stay here no matter how hard it is, how worthless I feel not being able to be a real missionary, no matter how bad it hurts, it’s all going to be okay. The Lord is refining me or something right?
Oh also I got picked to say the prayer in 3 out of 4 breakout sessions in Zone Conference hahaha. I never win.
Anyway, we’re waiting for transfer news right now, my guess is that I’ll be promoted to an actual office sister since we had a senior couple go home this week. Oh and the Boyters (senior couple from Kuching) are moving to Singapore to take over for another office opening in Singapore! So thats fun.